Welcome back to another one from ‘murderer’s row‘ as we count down to Shrubs We do Not Like. We are talking about Juniper c. ‘Hetzii’, or as I learned the common name Hetzi Juniper. This Juniper is a shrub I can promise you I will never plant-ever, no matter what.
Form, shape, size, habit, needles, it’s ugly, size, texture, size, doesn’t prune well, doesn’t shear well, size, did I mention size? It gets big, giving me the giggles when I see it planted 4.0ft. from a house. Big people, they can get big.
I dislike this shrub so much, that if I ever see, someone I know planting/using/designing one of these into the landscape we are going to have a fistfight . . . boo-yah!
Here are a couple of these beauties below, notice how they are swallowing the front of the house, and have made the front door . . . disappear!
I’ve actually ripped out Hetzii 3.0 or 4.0 foot apart 4,0 foot from the house-that were planted in a row across the front of a house. Yikes! Talk about a nightmare. Plus this plant is unforgiving, those needles are rough, scratchy, terrible . . . stays with you for days.
What’s funny about this pic is that I found it on the UConn plant database. This is the “example pic”. Like this is the best one they could find.
If you go to this link there is a tiny little picture of a row along a parking lot-they are massive. I suppose this would be the only use for these monstrosities-a barrier.
If for some bizarre reason you want to know more about this junk go to the U.of Arkansas, extension. there’s a write-up, and history about this beast. You know . . . it almost sounds as though the writer likes this plant.
Just look at the gangly mess . . . how attractive. I’m sorry but the Hetzii has nothing going for it. The caption from Floridata mentions it’s popular. It was popular when Nurserymen grew about 5 varieties of conifer shrubs, and that’s what the public got for 60-70 years, but not anymore.
That’s enough. I’m not wasting anymore time on the Juniperus c. ‘Hetzii’ . . . oh wait, here’s a good Juniper.
Addendum: Oh, here’s a look at the landscaped entry 16 years later: